I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
