Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
