Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
