i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
