did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
