nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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