im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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