I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
