You're earring is so big in my mouth
this just has baby written all over it
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
