apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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