They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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