The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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