Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
