is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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