I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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