Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
