i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
