i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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