Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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