I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
