Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
