She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How does one acquire holy water?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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