He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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