She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize