Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
