we have officially lost it.
one might say we're banned from that church
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
