When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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