Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We need to get me chipped asap
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
