I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
