she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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