you would pick up someone in the library
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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