dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
