Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
