This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
