Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
