My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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