I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
