Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
