you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bring me that man meat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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