I wish my penis had an off switch
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize