Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
