Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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