I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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