Christians are straight up FREAKS
you guys were way drunker than both of me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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