I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
