i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
