She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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