I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
there is glitter all over my balls
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
