The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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