I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
