I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
