I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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