he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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