People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
