Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
