How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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