lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
